As One Door Closes...

"Every new beginning
comes from some other beginning's end..."
-Semisonic

Change is beautiful if you embrace it. Sometimes all you need is one small epiphany to change your entire world, but sometimes change comes in the form of a giant wooden door, carved with good intentions and endless memories.

My favourite thing about endings are the beginnings that come out of them. This is my last day as an employee with the company I work for. Goodbyes are sad, but the older I get it seems the more necessary they become.

Why, you as the reader might ask, are goodbyes necessary? It's because you need to cut the old to grow. Think about it (in bad analogies): hair has to be trimmed occasionally in order for it to grow. Otherwise, all you're left with are split ends and dullness. Sometimes the most poisonous thing to someone who wants to improve their "youness" is being in the same situation, never growing. It has nothing to do with the people you're surrounded by or the situations you go through. It's simply that past perceptions or even current perceptions of yourself can strangle your ability to change and improve.

When I was in that relationship before summer, I felt that I was stuck to be the same person always. I would always be the no-nonsense Mother Goose. Every time I tried to branch out, to change, Joe would call me fake. In truth, I was changing right under his nose. I was becoming who I wanted to be. I think maybe that terrified him. He didn't understand that experimenting is a part of life, as is making mistakes. I've made some incredible mistakes, but I'm glad I did. I would have missed so much if I hadn't.

Evolution happens so slowly in broad world terms. But in personal terms, it can happen in the blink of an eye. When the "Joe Door" closed, I thought it would be the end of me. I loved him more than I ever thought I could. Yet, here I sit, still breathing (most likely better off them him right now). As that door closed, this beautiful opportunity to go to my absolute dream school was dropped in my lap--another door opens.

Now, as the door closes on the year I've worked at this company, where I will miss my friends' laughter and "blue shirt", I know that this is really just the beginning of a much larger and much more complicated tale of Alaska the College Girl. I won't be restricted to a desk or to my co-workers' opinions of their little 19 year-old comrade or even my own immature platonic conception of myself. I will be in a place with not many people who know who I am or where I've been.

So when I walk out the door today and let it close behind me, I will walk a little slower and linger with my foot on the clutch, waving goodbye to a wonderful year with fantastic friends and letting the Great Perhaps embrace me.

But don't worry, where ever I may go, I'll take you all along for the ride.

Until Next Time,

Alaska




I completely adore this song, by the way. ^.^