Hey guys!
I know it's been a couple weeks since I've written anything and I'm truly sorry about that. I had to take some time off, but I'll tell you why. I hope that, in writing this, a good message will come out of it and this won't be a "poor Alaska" post.
Two weeks ago, I went in for a visit with my doctor. My obstitrition. Yes, guys and gals of the internet, I was 14 weeks pregnant. I sat in the waiting room excited, but a little nervous. It was my second ultrasound. Now, as some of you may remember, I had been pregnant before and had had a miscarriage. I found out that Charolette, what I named the child from that pregnancy, had no fetal heartbeat at that appointment. Needless to say, I was incredibly nervous.
They tried to hear my baby's heart beat, but they couldn't find it. Everyone told me not to freak out (I was hyperventilating). We got an ultrasound. Zach and I sat, our hearts in our throats. The ultrasound tech said, "oh dear, I may have some bad news for you guys." She left to go get our doctor. I prayed and begged for there to be a heartbeat. Zach stayed silent, holding my hand and stroking my hot cheek. Our doctor came in with the ultrasound tech and they watched the screen of no movement and no sound. I began sobbing.
Before I knew what was happening, we were in our doctor's office discussing what was going on. He wanted to make sure, so Zach scheduled an appointment for Monday and we took off. My heart was so broken that I completely shut off. We went back in on Monday and the news was no different. We both were completely shattered. Our friends came and sat with us that day.
Last Wednesday, I went in and got a dialation and curettage surgery. The hospital was horrible, everything just seemed awful. Zach sat by my side and we took turns calming each other down. Zach was terrified that I would die in surgery (not likely, but it could happen). I went into the OR and was put out.
I'm sorry guys. I can't finish this story today. I will write the rest on Monday.
