Sometimes, you can't change the things going on in your life. All you can change is the way you choose to view these things (so cliche, I know).
For example, my best friend with the depression. Is there anything I can really do to change it (aside from being there for him and hoping for the best)? No, not really. This has weighed heavy on my heart for so damn long it feels that it feels like I have to bury my heart in the snow just to cool it off. What I have had to do is change my own life views to become a more positive influence. At least he's still here.
So, if you need to change your outlook on the situation, start inward. Remain calm and focus on the bright side. Everything has a bright side, regardless of whether or not you see it. Even if you are faced with a death, there are benefits to it. Maybe it was a grandmother who had been battling cancer. At least they're no longer in pain. If you ever need a bright side of a situation, please feel free to comment, message on Facebook, or send an email. I'm never too busy or "good" to have a good chat and try to help someone going through a hard time.
I want to talk about stress (well, not really, but who ever does?)! Guys, stress is a very natural part of life that we all experience as we get older. The unhealthy part of stress is how we choose to deal with it. Some people deal with it by drinking or having sex. Some of us (mainly me) smoke until our lungs resemble a chimney. While I am the poster child for stressing way too much, I have found some great ways to manage it.
Firstly, DON'T OVER THINK ANYTHING! As my gorgeous boyfriend states: "over thinking does nothing to get it done, does nothing to fix the issue. Once you are able to pull yourself out emotionally, you are able to think logically and find a solution." (If you want to read more of Zach's writing, click this link --->more amazing blogging)
Secondly, find something to help you assemble your thoughts. Start a blog, pick up crochet or the ukulele, start doing yoga. Find a happy place for just you that no one can take away. Let this be a little place where you can think logically and let the worries melt away.
Thirdly, find a solution. This ties into the previous blog posts. If something is stressing you out, it's time to make a change. Again, think about it logically. For example, yeah I would love to take Intro to Creative Writing this semester. I'd also like to get at least a little sleep (it's at 8 am). What did I do? I dropped the class. I can take it next semester.
Fourthly (and finally), believe in yourself. If you think you're going to fail, then guess what sunshine? You will fail. But if you believe in your ability to make it though whatever it is stressing you out, then you will absolutely succeed.
Again, sorry it took so long and sorry it was so short. Needless to say it was a busy, busy day and I don't foresee the busy to cease.
Today, I am going to share a problem that one of my best friends is facing. It seems to be a fairly significant problem in our world today, but no one seems to have a solution to it.
My best friend believes that, in this world of 6 billion people and a star for every grain of sand on a beach just in view, he is of no consequence. This thinking has led to nothing but anxiety, depression, and suicidal tendencies for him. He told me this after he had told me he finished his will and there was nothing left to do now but die. We all get like this sometimes, but when he told me all of this; my heart stopped, my breathing became rapid, and my eyes filled up with tears. How could someone so young, with so much at his feet, have such a grim outlook on his place in the world. What he doesn't realize? Though he may be one in six billion, he is my
entire universe. I'm sure, especially with him, that he is others'
universes as well.
Many of you have probably been on at least one side of this discussion: begging someone to live or wanting so much to die. You might feel insignificant at times (or maybe all of the time), but what you absolutely have to realize is there is not one worthless person on this planet. You, my dears, have everything to live for. There are thousands of reasons to smile.
Don't let one little thing (and, as my grandmothers both said while dying of cancer, "it's all little") tear you down.
If you're having real thoughts of suicide, please talk to someone. I know a lot of people who don't feel comfortable calling hotlines or talking to councilors, but--as someone who really cares about you--please talk to someone!
Sorry for all the sad talk, but it needed to be said and so does this:
You are beautiful. You are strong. You are amazing just the way you are. You are a warrior and you will make it through this. If you are reading this and think that I can't possibly know that about you, I do. We are all all of these things and more.
On a different note: the homework assignment I gave all of you yesterday is open until the end of the month. At that time, I will put the top 10 on this page and link them to your Facebook, Twitter, or just give you credit!
Have a fantastic Monday and always remember your reasons to smile!
"i mean i'm always happy with life, but i just search for adventure or new experiences, or other ways to better myself"
-Trevor Teply
So, off of yesterday's topic, change needs to be made. But the
real question is what change needs to be made? Better yet, what can you
use to inspire these changes. Strap in, guys and gals, because I have
some suggestions. Thank you to all of my friends who helped me with
today's subject.
Here are some of the things that inspire change in my life:
1.) The movies Elizabethtown and Breakfast at Tiffany's.
2.) The perfect playlist.
3.) Fun experiences with good people. Maybe not always dear friends, but new friends.
4.) Sharing your money, time, or story with someone.
5.) Accepting someone who does the same.
6.) Photography is a huge one for me. It could be a sunset or some grungy-indie chick. Looking at other people and realizing what you covet is a huge process in change.
7.) Ok, this one is pretty obvious, but the website http://love.givesmehope.com/. I have seen grown men cry while reading these.
8.) Pain. Out of pain comes some of the most beautiful changes I have ever seen.
9.) ...not going to lie. I keep thinking of Doctor Who, Buffy, and shows like them. Don't diss. They all have fairly good messages about not giving up and making something beautiful out of the life you have.
10.) My past. Not wanting what I have had in my past (or wanting it, for that matter) is a huge driving force for myself in my life.
Other Suggestions:
1.) " hm...i think failure does the most to be honest" -Nathan Selinsky
2.) "It's based on what is making you unhappy... if I'm upset about work, I look
for other jobs. If I'm feeling like a fat piece of lard, I eat better and
try and make it to the gym... I usually like taking long walks or
having alone time to plot my next move or make life decisions though." -Chris Marez (@djsquirt)
3.) "a new goal. in my case, wanting something better for myself, like fighting, and being completely focused to attain that goal" -Alex "Brown Bear" Johnson
4.) "It's the drive. The drive comes from a
"need". That need comes from the thought about "choices". If you really
think about it, I left Colorado because my "need" was my boyfriend and
my job and the fact that I've lived there for 20 years. I wrote down
everything. For me, seeing it on paper hits me harder than my friends
saying it, family telling me how things should be, and even myself
saying it. When I wrote everything down, I wrote next to it what that
change would effect and later look like.
So moving could end my
job, school and relationship with Adam. I talked with adam and he said
he wants to move here to be with me in 6 months. School is now all
online so I figured that out. Job, well.. without having to pay rent my
income didn't change.
Next.. my health. I have gained 40 pounds.
It doesn't look like much to my family or friends but I feel horrible. I
weigh as much as I did when I gave birth to my kids. Seriously!! I
weigh 170. Soda is my addiction. My cousin noticed it after a few hours
and each hour I had a bubbly drink in my hand. Adam hates that I drink
so much soda. What's worse.. I started giving soda to my 2 year old son
when he would want a drink and all I had left was my drink. It's not
good to start him out that way.
So I wrote it down. "I weigh 170
pounds. this is what I weighed giving birth to a baby. This weight is
controlling how I feel about myself. I will not drop any weight if I keep
drinking soda and having ice cream every night".
Every morning..
I write it down somewhere. When I can't find a pen, I text it to
myself. Every time I want a soda, I write down my weight and I write out
why I weigh so much. Best time to make change is when the emotion is
taken out of it.
I had to step back and ask myself if moving was
an emotional move, or a logical one. I want my son to be surrounded
around his family. I was completely taken away from everyone when I was
little. All I had was my parents. I wasn't allowed to know these people.
When I was pregnant, the issue of abortion came up. That choice
was exteremely hard for me. I kept telling myself that I couldn't do
this. My parents already kidnapped one kid thinking I wasn't a fit
mother. Next, I was without a job when I found out I was pregnant. That
choice would change my life no matter what. If I had an abortion, every
"due date" I had would haunt me.(I know myself) And if I didn't, I might
need government assistance for the rest of my life. I'd rather make the
choice I knew I could live with, so I named him Aiden.
Next,
College. College was a huge step for me. I had parents who told me all
the time I would fail and to just forget school since it wasn't that big
of a deal. I met a woman who became my motherly figure in a time that I
needed it most. She told me she would rent me a room and if I went to
college, I'd only pay 200 a month. I was paying 900. This encouraged me
like no other. Now, I'd never take it back.
There is so much that has driven me to make changes.. But in the end..
It's me. It's my life. And it's my choice. If I don't own my own life,
how do I expect to get where I want to go?"-Amber Clark
5.) " 'The caterpillar cannot understand the butterfly'...The biggest thing that inspires me to change is to be unafraid of it, to welcome it, and to know that it's going to be good for me. I enjoy my mind evolving, I think a lot of people resist change because they're afraid of what they don't want happening, well you can't think about what you don't want. Staying positive through everything good or bad is the key to happiness." -Bri Rehberg 6.) "In my life I've realized challenges are there for me to grow as a person. It means nothing to fall down, but it matters how I get back up from a failed challenge. I feel it in my gut when I need to change something about myself and to me it's all about instinct and how I handle things in the moment. Sunday night slam...Also having a cautiously positive mindset helps me get things done too" -Blake Scurto
7.) "Change! Haha. I just wanted to get this diagram up because I learned about this theory in English last year and I agree with it very much, I just added a bit to it. Anyway. So. Growth happens over time. Change and growth are connected, yes? Yes. In order to grow, a person must be separated from their normal life and brought out of their comfort zone, whether it's as simple as being forced to buy food by yourself for the first time or as drastic as a death in the family. Once separated by this event, the person then matures as they process what is happening and learn how to handle the situation. They then return to their normal life through the process of aggregation, integrating all that they have learned into the whole that is their person. My only change is that everything balances as well, and so for positive events there will also be negative events. This means you can learn a lot from good experiences, but you also learn a lot from negative experiences. The point is not to worry about which experience is currently happening, but rather to move forward. A person who does not continue through the series of growth spikes (the whole set is called a bildungsroman, a term used for a coming of age novel (Great Expectations!), and one spike is called a "slice of life," often the focus of short stories) will be stuck in a state of arrested development, which is why some adults act like twelve year-olds. It's also possible to go backwards, if the balance isn't kept. That's where you get nasty people and characters.
So to grow and change, I work with the events that are presented to me rather than against them. Challenges and blessings are equally beneficial to a person's growth and development. And they are beneficial, no matter how happy-go-lucky out there or how dark they may be. As long as you move forward. Also, a series of positive events could be balanced by a series of negative events, there's no strict order. The balance is kept overall, if not always on a smaller scale. Dwelling in the past can upset the balance also."-Sarah Vogel
It's 2013 and it is one of my new years resolutions to kick ass with this blog. I'm in an angst ridden mood, but I think it's healthy enough to talk about on here.
I'm going to go against one of my rules for this blog and say something unusual, but here we go:
Fuck. Everyone. Else.
These three simple words seem to elude most people the majority of the time. Now, this may seem like an extremely misanthropic or even objectivist statement. Do not misunderstand me. I like most humans most of the time. However, there comes a place and a time in which the opinions of others need to mean nothing. Your life is purely your own. Subjecting yourself to the bullshitted views of those around you is your own choice and one that can seriously mess with your world.
Why? 1.) Because everyone on this earth is struggling for answers. 2.) Because what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another. And 3.) Because miracles do exist. They can happen to anyone and they can happen to you.
Seriously, don't even listen to me if you don't like what I have to say. But if you feel like a visitor in your own life, like you are struggling for air and, just as you reach the top, the whole damn world flips over to keep you under water, keep reading.
Quit your job. Dye your hair. Fall in or out of love. Get a new hobby. Relocate. But, above all, if you can't stand your life, change. You can't expect to do the same thing a million times over and make different results, right? So, if life is so awful that you want to leave it, then make a fucking change. If you're in college, change which college. If your boss is making you want to play that wack-your-boss game (which, I'll put a link for, but it's really the best game ever if you're upset), then QUIT YOUR FUCKING JOB.
I'm sorry, guys. I know I don't normally swear so much on this blog. It's just something that I had to get out there.
