"I am not afraid to keep on living,
I am not afraid to walk this world alone..."
-My Chemical Romance
In order for me to properly explain my adventures as a single lady, I must explain the experience of before.
When I was 17, I met this guy (oh, we'll call him Joe Schmoe again). He was a friend of my best friend's boyfriend. We were obviously interested in each other. Fast forward six months (I could write, and am in the process of writing, a 300 page novel about it), we're moved in together and engaged. Last Summer, we took a break and both slept with people. I forgave him, he never forgave me. Another month and I was pregnant. I lost the baby and everything spiraled down from there. He left me, but we weren't broken up. We were in a perpetual state of being exclusive, but not being a couple. Then, he brought to light that he had been sleeping around with other women.
And this is how my summer began. The next day, I went into work sick as a dog. So sick, in fact, that I had to leave work. I left work and met up with my friend Bella, who said that she would take me out that night. That was the day (yes, the day right after I found out Joe had been sleeping around) that admissions at UNC had emailed me, telling me I had been accepted. This was my beginning and will be my longest Single Lady adventure.
Bella had advised me to not talk to Joe too much. So, I let him know I had been accepted, we agreed to just be friends, and I didn't talk to him much for the next five hours. In those five hours, he had changed his facebook picture to a picture of the two of us, wrote a few statuses about how sad he was that he messed everything up, and texted me five times (which is more attention than I'd ever gotten in our relationship).
We went over to our friend's house and I drank tequila and champagne. Well, I'm a light weight. So I was happy-buzzed before we left to go to the Billiards Hall we frequent. Inviting all of our friends, we partied and I kissed some guys (and Bella). More information on the people I kissed later. In any event, I felt so very liberated and free and like nothing could stop me. And in my drunken blunder, I was right.
From there, a group of us went to Bella's work (a 24-hour diner) and we ate. Well, at this point, I texted Joe back, who was absolutely convinced that I had been with other dudes. My only regret about that night is that I didn't point out that it was no longer his business and I can do whatever I damn well want. We were just friends and I did not have to divulge any information to him whatsoever. None. This, I did not do until the next day.
I kissed four people (including Bella) that night. (1) My friend who supplied me with tequila. (2) Some guy I had just met who, by the way, ended up dating my roomie. (3) Bella. And (4) another one of my guy friends. After that night, my summer was on fire (sadly, that does mean literally as well).
The next day, Joe and I had a not-so-pleasant conversation about saying goodbye. He never told me what he did that night, but I finally fessed up to kissing some people. He got mad, I called him a (pardon my french) "fucking hypocrite".
And that story will be continued tomorrow.
Until Then, I leave you with hope that you are having a fantastic adventure of your own.
Peace out, Girl Scouts,
Alaska
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Single Week: Re-defining "Single"
"Some people are settling down,
some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for
anything less than butterflies."
- Sex in the City
Hello, lovely people of the web.
Today begins a week that I like to call "Single Week." This week, I will post the amazing things about being single. Beginning with what being single means.
Single, by definition of the internet, means "not accompanied by another or others; solitary; consisting of one part, aspect, or section; having the same application for all; not divided; unbroken." All of this can be information overload, so I'll just explain the parts that I feel are worth explaining.
(1) Not accompanied by others--being alone. Alone physically, alone in thought, alone in action. Why is it that, as humans, we fear being alone? It makes no sense. It ties back into my earlier posts about self-love. How can we expect others to want to spend time with us if we don't even want to spend time with ourselves?
(2) Not divided/broken--being one whole solid mess. This is my favourite description of being single. When I first became single, I thought I was broken, just half of a whole. As it turns out, though, being single means that you are one complete person instead of half of a couple.
Some of the most fantastic people in this world are/were single. People I'd love to point out: Kate Hudson, Sandra Bullock, J.K. Rowling, Joan Jett (who is my absolute idol), and Jane Austin. All these people and more, they have created beauty in their lives as single people.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I call to you and say: why hate being single? Being single is not the state of being in between relationships. Don't let yourselves be defined in that way. Embrace your "one whole solid mess" and run with it.
Now, am I saying that no one should ever get into a relationship or that they should get out of the one they're in right now? Hell no. I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying (like the quote) don't settle for anything less than the butterflies. And until then, don't lament being single. Have as much fun with it as possible.
Until Tomorrow,
Alaska
some people are settling and some people refuse to settle for
anything less than butterflies."
- Sex in the City
Hello, lovely people of the web.
Today begins a week that I like to call "Single Week." This week, I will post the amazing things about being single. Beginning with what being single means.
Single, by definition of the internet, means "not accompanied by another or others; solitary; consisting of one part, aspect, or section; having the same application for all; not divided; unbroken." All of this can be information overload, so I'll just explain the parts that I feel are worth explaining.
(1) Not accompanied by others--being alone. Alone physically, alone in thought, alone in action. Why is it that, as humans, we fear being alone? It makes no sense. It ties back into my earlier posts about self-love. How can we expect others to want to spend time with us if we don't even want to spend time with ourselves?
(2) Not divided/broken--being one whole solid mess. This is my favourite description of being single. When I first became single, I thought I was broken, just half of a whole. As it turns out, though, being single means that you are one complete person instead of half of a couple.
Some of the most fantastic people in this world are/were single. People I'd love to point out: Kate Hudson, Sandra Bullock, J.K. Rowling, Joan Jett (who is my absolute idol), and Jane Austin. All these people and more, they have created beauty in their lives as single people.
Ladies and Gentlemen, I call to you and say: why hate being single? Being single is not the state of being in between relationships. Don't let yourselves be defined in that way. Embrace your "one whole solid mess" and run with it.
Now, am I saying that no one should ever get into a relationship or that they should get out of the one they're in right now? Hell no. I'm not saying that at all. I'm saying (like the quote) don't settle for anything less than the butterflies. And until then, don't lament being single. Have as much fun with it as possible.
Until Tomorrow,
Alaska
Monday, July 23, 2012
Life is Short...
"For all we know, we might not get tomorrow,
Let's do it tonight..."
-Pitbull/Ne-Yo
On a happy note, let's discuss one of my favorite topics: Carpe Diem.
As a true bohemian (pfft--ha! In my big air-conditioned home with about a million TVs and computers?), I believe there is nothing more beautiful then grabbing life by it's metaphorical balls. I have a sort of unspoken set of rules.
Here, I will speak them:
(1) Enjoy your body now while it's still firm and fairly thin.
(2) Do something stupid every day.
(3) Sing and dance whenever the opportunity presents itself.
(4) Don't sleep with anyone unless they buy you dinner first.
(5) Don't cry more than I laugh.
(6) Speak kindly, love with every bit of your heart, and don't blame others for things that are your fault.
(7) Don't blame yourself for things that aren't your fault.
(8) Every day is an adventure: if I wouldn't write about it, it's not worth spending time on.
(9) You never remember the nights you got enough sleep.
(10) Take too many pictures.
So go crazy! Do the unexpected. Do what you want.
Send me pictures or something of your excellent adventures.
Peace, Punch, Captain Crunch,
Alaska
Let's do it tonight..."
-Pitbull/Ne-Yo
On a happy note, let's discuss one of my favorite topics: Carpe Diem.
As a true bohemian (pfft--ha! In my big air-conditioned home with about a million TVs and computers?), I believe there is nothing more beautiful then grabbing life by it's metaphorical balls. I have a sort of unspoken set of rules.
Here, I will speak them:
(1) Enjoy your body now while it's still firm and fairly thin.
(2) Do something stupid every day.
(3) Sing and dance whenever the opportunity presents itself.
(4) Don't sleep with anyone unless they buy you dinner first.
(5) Don't cry more than I laugh.
(6) Speak kindly, love with every bit of your heart, and don't blame others for things that are your fault.
(7) Don't blame yourself for things that aren't your fault.
(8) Every day is an adventure: if I wouldn't write about it, it's not worth spending time on.
(9) You never remember the nights you got enough sleep.
(10) Take too many pictures.
So go crazy! Do the unexpected. Do what you want.
Send me pictures or something of your excellent adventures.
Peace, Punch, Captain Crunch,
Alaska
Sunday, July 22, 2012
Pay It Forward
For attractive lips, speak word of kindness.
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
-Sam Levinston (and read by Audrey Hepburn)
Hello, Lovers. So today's subject is light and fluffy. It's about giving back. I have two stories I'd love to share with you.
Mind you, this all happened the same night, and I was a fair bit sleep deprived. The beginning starts at 4:00 in the morning. I had my roomie and her boyfriend (well, at that point they had just met) in the car with me as well. We were just winding down from a fantastic night of hookah smoking, Walmart shopping, and Denny's eating. We had another hour to kill before picking up my friend from his overnight shift. I drove half an hour away to Sedalia. Why? I really don't know. Trying to stay awake, I suppose. My car was running out of gas by the time we got back to my side of town.
I pulled into a 7-11 at 4:30 am. Now, this is far from being a sketchy neighborhood (the closets are bigger than my room). However, when you are approached at 4:30 in the morning at a gas station, it's difficult to not feel afraid. I heard an "excuse me, do you have, like, 50 cents I could use for gas, my car ran out." This woman, about my size and maybe 5 years older than me, was shivering in the crisp dawn air. Now, I never give out money to panhandlers. Ever. I have an alcoholic mother and would hate for someone to give her money to go blow on booze. Still, this woman seemed fairly genuine and I doubted if, at that early in the morning, she would find enough gas to make it home.
I pulled a ten out of my wallet and gave it to her. She threw her arms around me and cried on my shoulder. She then began to explain that she had been lost all night, trying to find where her boyfriend was. We exchanged phone numbers and she was able to put enough gas in her car to make it home. We then picked up my friend from work. He had something very interesting to give me.
Children, do you remember that friend of mine who had a drug habit and an abusive boyfriend? Well, she had given my friend something to give to me. The first thing was a nearly full pack of Newports. As my friend explained, she only smokes when she does drugs. This alone was a huge gift to me. The second, however, was more precious than money could ever buy. It was a note, thanking me for talking with her and driving her around. She explained that she will not be contacting her boyfriend anymore and that she was going to quit cocaine and heroin. I have not smoked those cigarettes.
After reading the letter, the woman from the gas station texted me, letting me know she had made it home alright. She also thanked me, saying that there needed to be more people like me in the world. I felt like arguing. I'm not a Robinhood. I'm not an angel. I just wanted to help her. It was 10 dollars, but to her it was so much more. To her, it was a stranger who cared.
Now, what am I saying with this post? That you should go buy a hobo a happy meal? Not necessarily. What I am saying is to look for opportunities to improve someone else's day. If we all did that, can you imagine how much happier this world would be?
Food for Thought. =)
I love you all and hope your day is as fantastic as you!
-Alaska
For lovely eyes, seek out the good in people.
For a slim figure, share your food with the hungry.
For beautiful hair, let a child run his or her fingers through it once a day.
For poise, walk with the knowledge that you never walk alone.
People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed and redeemed; never throw out anyone.
-Sam Levinston (and read by Audrey Hepburn)
Hello, Lovers. So today's subject is light and fluffy. It's about giving back. I have two stories I'd love to share with you.
Mind you, this all happened the same night, and I was a fair bit sleep deprived. The beginning starts at 4:00 in the morning. I had my roomie and her boyfriend (well, at that point they had just met) in the car with me as well. We were just winding down from a fantastic night of hookah smoking, Walmart shopping, and Denny's eating. We had another hour to kill before picking up my friend from his overnight shift. I drove half an hour away to Sedalia. Why? I really don't know. Trying to stay awake, I suppose. My car was running out of gas by the time we got back to my side of town.
I pulled into a 7-11 at 4:30 am. Now, this is far from being a sketchy neighborhood (the closets are bigger than my room). However, when you are approached at 4:30 in the morning at a gas station, it's difficult to not feel afraid. I heard an "excuse me, do you have, like, 50 cents I could use for gas, my car ran out." This woman, about my size and maybe 5 years older than me, was shivering in the crisp dawn air. Now, I never give out money to panhandlers. Ever. I have an alcoholic mother and would hate for someone to give her money to go blow on booze. Still, this woman seemed fairly genuine and I doubted if, at that early in the morning, she would find enough gas to make it home.
I pulled a ten out of my wallet and gave it to her. She threw her arms around me and cried on my shoulder. She then began to explain that she had been lost all night, trying to find where her boyfriend was. We exchanged phone numbers and she was able to put enough gas in her car to make it home. We then picked up my friend from work. He had something very interesting to give me.
Children, do you remember that friend of mine who had a drug habit and an abusive boyfriend? Well, she had given my friend something to give to me. The first thing was a nearly full pack of Newports. As my friend explained, she only smokes when she does drugs. This alone was a huge gift to me. The second, however, was more precious than money could ever buy. It was a note, thanking me for talking with her and driving her around. She explained that she will not be contacting her boyfriend anymore and that she was going to quit cocaine and heroin. I have not smoked those cigarettes.
After reading the letter, the woman from the gas station texted me, letting me know she had made it home alright. She also thanked me, saying that there needed to be more people like me in the world. I felt like arguing. I'm not a Robinhood. I'm not an angel. I just wanted to help her. It was 10 dollars, but to her it was so much more. To her, it was a stranger who cared.
Now, what am I saying with this post? That you should go buy a hobo a happy meal? Not necessarily. What I am saying is to look for opportunities to improve someone else's day. If we all did that, can you imagine how much happier this world would be?
Food for Thought. =)
I love you all and hope your day is as fantastic as you!
-Alaska
Friday, July 20, 2012
Today, I am not going to write a huge article. It's too horrible to think of the tragedy that took place last night. My thoughts are with the family and friends of the victims. One of which was a three month old baby.
How in the world can someone think they can afford to play God like that?
Anyway, please post/email with any ideas at all to help the family and friends of the victims.
alyeskanstars@gmail.com
If you don't know what I'm talking about...
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/ten-killed-denver-movie-shooting-local-radio-083043066.html
I love you all and I hope you're ok,
Alaska
How in the world can someone think they can afford to play God like that?
Anyway, please post/email with any ideas at all to help the family and friends of the victims.
alyeskanstars@gmail.com
If you don't know what I'm talking about...
http://ca.news.yahoo.com/ten-killed-denver-movie-shooting-local-radio-083043066.html
I love you all and I hope you're ok,
Alaska
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Everything Happens...
"We are the reckless,
We are the wild youth,
Chasing visions of our futures..."
-Youth by Daughters
Good morning, beautiful readers. I apologize that it's been a couple weeks. I've been very busy.
When I was a kid, I believed in karma and the universe always having a way of working everything out. I used to fantasize about the way I believed things would work. Then, I grew boobs and decided that there is nothing and would never be anything. A joy to my parents (and yes, that is sarcasm), I constantly lived in a hopeless mind I had created for myself.
But in this past year, everything has changed. In all the things I experienced--the engagement, the miscarriage, the breakup--I began to see the beauty in what was meant to happen. It hit me first with this epiphany: While Joe Schmoe and I were fighting (which was just weeks of love and hate), I went to the bank with him. All the computers, they said, were down and I would have to come back later. So I took Joe to work, with the intent of coming back later. I dropped him off and he said he wasn't sure if our love would survive. I was stubborn, so I argued with him extensively that it would.
I went back to the bank, bleary eyed and crushed. In the parking lot, I thought to myself, "if Joe and I are meant to be, the computers will be back up and running when I come in." I have secretly set myself up for disappointment many times. I knew I couldn't take it as a sign either way. Still, I knew what I hoped for. I walked in the bank and the computers were still down. But then, "wait! I think it's working!" and suddenly the computers were fixed.
I went home thinking that Joe and I were destined to be together forever. But now I look back. I know that Joe and I are not and could never be soulmates. So what gives? It was too close to be a coincidence. But I know remember what I had thought, "if Joe and I were meant to be..." We were meant to be together for that time. I believe I was meant to be in that exact situation with that exact person for that exact amount of time.
This is how I got over the worst breakup I've ever gone through. Mind you, I lay no blame in Joe. He's a twenty year old kid. He has just about as much sense of the world (potentially less) than me. Everytime I feel hopeless, I want to give up, etc., I remember that, yes,
Everything happens for a reason.
Looking back, had things ended before, I may not have survived the breakup. Had things ended later, I would have spent (would be spending) this entire Summer in fear and hurt.
As a society, I feel like we are stuck on things that suck and hurt so much that we are completely blind to the things that come out of them. We--myself included--tend to look back and think about how things could have gone instead of seeing the way things really went and the results of it.
So here is what I ask of you today, take a look back on one situation that you think could have gone better. Then, pull a sort of six degrees. Write down everything (good and bad) that happened as a result. Send them in and I will post them all on my page (please include in your email if you want to remain anonymous).
Send them into: alyeskanstars@gmail.com
We are the wild youth,
Chasing visions of our futures..."
-Youth by Daughters
Good morning, beautiful readers. I apologize that it's been a couple weeks. I've been very busy.
When I was a kid, I believed in karma and the universe always having a way of working everything out. I used to fantasize about the way I believed things would work. Then, I grew boobs and decided that there is nothing and would never be anything. A joy to my parents (and yes, that is sarcasm), I constantly lived in a hopeless mind I had created for myself.
But in this past year, everything has changed. In all the things I experienced--the engagement, the miscarriage, the breakup--I began to see the beauty in what was meant to happen. It hit me first with this epiphany: While Joe Schmoe and I were fighting (which was just weeks of love and hate), I went to the bank with him. All the computers, they said, were down and I would have to come back later. So I took Joe to work, with the intent of coming back later. I dropped him off and he said he wasn't sure if our love would survive. I was stubborn, so I argued with him extensively that it would.
I went back to the bank, bleary eyed and crushed. In the parking lot, I thought to myself, "if Joe and I are meant to be, the computers will be back up and running when I come in." I have secretly set myself up for disappointment many times. I knew I couldn't take it as a sign either way. Still, I knew what I hoped for. I walked in the bank and the computers were still down. But then, "wait! I think it's working!" and suddenly the computers were fixed.
I went home thinking that Joe and I were destined to be together forever. But now I look back. I know that Joe and I are not and could never be soulmates. So what gives? It was too close to be a coincidence. But I know remember what I had thought, "if Joe and I were meant to be..." We were meant to be together for that time. I believe I was meant to be in that exact situation with that exact person for that exact amount of time.
This is how I got over the worst breakup I've ever gone through. Mind you, I lay no blame in Joe. He's a twenty year old kid. He has just about as much sense of the world (potentially less) than me. Everytime I feel hopeless, I want to give up, etc., I remember that, yes,
Everything happens for a reason.
Looking back, had things ended before, I may not have survived the breakup. Had things ended later, I would have spent (would be spending) this entire Summer in fear and hurt.
As a society, I feel like we are stuck on things that suck and hurt so much that we are completely blind to the things that come out of them. We--myself included--tend to look back and think about how things could have gone instead of seeing the way things really went and the results of it.
So here is what I ask of you today, take a look back on one situation that you think could have gone better. Then, pull a sort of six degrees. Write down everything (good and bad) that happened as a result. Send them in and I will post them all on my page (please include in your email if you want to remain anonymous).
Send them into: alyeskanstars@gmail.com
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