My Mother's Daughter

You, I've mistaken for destiny, but the truth is my legacy is not up to my genes.
True, though the imprint is deep in me, it will always be up to me
          -Repo! The Genetic Opera


It's times like these I wonder if I'm like my mother.  Now seems a good time to let everyone know this: you have a chance to change your stars. Just because your parents are a certain way doesn't mean you have to be.

I was with my family over Thanksgiving and let me tell you...it isn't easy. I almost felt like it was a mirror into my future.  But sitting here, I realize that I have the choice to decide who I am in 20 years. Just because my family is a certain way doesn't mean that is what I will turn into. If anything, it could be a warning sign.
I am happier now than I have ever been though. I am lucky to have been blessed with so many people who care about me. The most to be taken away from today's topic is that you can have the same attributes as your family without being exactly like them. For example, I am very charismatic (like my mother) but I am not a drunk just because I have some of the same attributes as her.

It's a fine line, to be a child coming into the understanding of your own being. As a young person, you not only have the expectations of your family and the world on your shoulders, but also the expectations you create for yourself. In this, it is really difficult to remember the last one. However, part of growing up is learning how to value your own expectations. In college, it seems like everyone has been telling me that, yes, my opinion is valued. Now, I have a blog that people read, so I feel like my opinion is at least slightly valued. Still, I see many of my 18 year old friends going to college and choosing a major that either society or their family wants for them. While it's great that these people care about the future, these freshman really have to figure out what they want for the rest of their lives.

Guys, let me tell you something. Every single one of you have the potential to change the world. None of us are more or less important. Past generations have been so focused on, well, the past that they raised themselves to only be so-so. They thought that was all they were capable of. But we are not our parents. We are not the past. We are the future. I see more compassion now than ever.

However, it is important to remember that our parents are just human. You know that feeling you get when you're really scared or really sad? They get that too. The great thing is that they are human, with so much love to give and so much to offer the world.

I guess the main point of my rambling blog post today is that (1) parents/family are human, (2) you don't have to be like them, and (3) you don't have to listen to everything they say. You're an adult (I hope most of you reading this are), use your own best judgement as your guide. Parents are sometimes wise, but not the end-all-be-all of sage advise. 

Enjoying Your Mistakes

“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.” 
          -Albert Einstein

Hey Kiddos!
Two years ago today, I made a mistake. I ended up dating Joe Schmoe and, well, most of you should know the rest. I won't lie to my avid readers, it was really difficult. I watched lots of Buffy the Vampire Slayer to try and fill the emptiness in my life. For a while, this blog and good TV shows were just about all I had (aside from a surprisingly well-paying call center job). But, guys, I have something really cool to tell you about heartbreak. What I didn't realize at the beginning of the Summer was how beautiful my life would become. All of this started with a heartbreak.

People, in my own opinion, take for granted the fact that our mistakes set us on a path. For example, two years ago, I had no plans of going to college. I burned my name as Mrs. Potts (or, as some people called me, a door mat). I was incomplete and wanted to fulfill that by dating...let's face it...the biggest douche bag in Colorado. It was a temporary fix to combat loneliness. Something that my readers don't know is that, before Joe, I had a "one that got away". He couldn't decide if he wanted to be with me or not, so I set the past on fire and decided to be with someone new. Why I tell this to you is because it's very important to remember that everything, even heartbreak, has an expiration date.

So, yes, I made a mistake. I dated the wrong guy. I'm so glad I did. Had it not been for Joe, I would have never applied for college. My application to college was a spur-of-the-moment decision brought on by Joe moving out. I decided that I needed a bigger change than my hair color. And, as I'm sure I have stated a few times before, I got accepted the day after I found out that he was cheating on me. This is the most obvious way that my mistake changed my life for the better, but there are more. Because of that relationship, I learned the value of loyalty and arguing in a way that is still loving.

Right now, in this moment, life is beautiful. I just had lunch with my boyfriend, who adores me more than anything. I'm sitting on my college campus, typing this post and listening to Laura Marling (one of my idols). I am surrounded by people who think I'm just great. Getting to this point was not at all easy. I've been through so much and I've had people tell me that I have the sadness of a thousand years on my shoulders, but every mistake and misfortune are fantastic because it got me to this very moment of clarity and bliss.

Sometimes, I am so terrified that I will make the same mistakes in my current relationship as in my past. But today, I see that I am learning from my mistakes and know not to make those again.The mistakes I have yet to make are mistakes I have never made before. And I cannot wait to make those mistakes to learn more and see who I will become.

Until Next Time,

Alaska