"All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals. Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. For it is all give and no take."
-Mahatma Gandhi
Compromise is a really good thing. It's how we explore, it's how we grow. However, sometimes compromising too much of yourself can be extreamly detrimental to your self-worth.
For example, I have a friend who loves her boyfriend so much. Her boyfriend loves her, but she consistantly feels like she has to be perfect for him. As a result, she has been entertaining the idea of anorexia and her perspective of self is way off. She wakes up every morning feeling a little bit worse about herself than the day before. It isn't her boyfriend's fault. If anything, he spends most of his time trying to convince her she is fantastic. Still, she fears his family and friends don't like her.
So, how do we fix this situation? First, she needs to get over the idea that she has to please everybody. It is impossible to please everyone. What is imperative about this situation is that she remembers who she is and stays true to that. Not everyone will like her for being who she is, but at least she knows that the people who do like her really do like her. Secondly, she has to be outgoing. She doesn't have to please everyone, but she has to be cordial at least. I have advised her to not get too deep into anyone else's business. Still, being a good person and lending an ear doesn't normally lead to bad things. The more people she has on her side in her boyfriend's life, the more people who are likely to vouch for her.
Willingness to compromise, in itself, is a good skill to have. This is not a win/lose situation. It's more so a way to work it out so that everyone wins. If you don't want to watch a movie, but your friend does, agree to a movie but ask if you can pick which movie to watch. Or you could also just agree that next time, you get to choose what to do.
On a side note, I am so very sorry that I have not been posting as often as I was durring summer. I have had to contend with some very stressful issues. I shall be writing more from now on.
Love Always,
Alaska
