Hey You!
So, like I said yesterday, I'm getting stuff ready for this next semester.
But I am giving you guys an assignment:
I want you all to take a picture of true beauty and send it to me on our new Facebook page.
Check the page out...Epic Facebook Page
Have a great Sunday!
-Alaska
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Saturday, January 12, 2013
Change This Mess: A Playlist
Hello Darlings,
Today, I'm focusing on getting ready for school.
Here's a playlist for you all today:
1.) In the Mourning by Paramore
2.) All Over You by the Spill Canvas
3.) All At Once by Airborne Toxic Event
4.) Santeria by Sublime
5.) Break Free by Queen
6.) The Chain by Fleetwood Mac
7.) Breaking by Amberlin
8.) Coffee and Cigarettes by Jimmy Eat World
9.) Believe in Dreams by Flyleaf
10.) Ukulele Anthem by Amanda Palmer
11.) All Those Friendly People by Funeral Suits
12.) Shining On by Big D and the Kid's Table
13.) Revolution by Flogging Molly
14.) Youth by Daughter
15.) Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls
16.) For the First Time by the Script
17.) Defying Gravity from Wicked
18.) Hero by Regina Spektor
19.) Luck You Got by the High Strung
20.) Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars
21.) Black Ink Revenge by Automatic Loveletter
22.) Metal Heart by Cat Power
Today, I'm focusing on getting ready for school.
Here's a playlist for you all today:
1.) In the Mourning by Paramore
2.) All Over You by the Spill Canvas
3.) All At Once by Airborne Toxic Event
4.) Santeria by Sublime
5.) Break Free by Queen
6.) The Chain by Fleetwood Mac
7.) Breaking by Amberlin
8.) Coffee and Cigarettes by Jimmy Eat World
9.) Believe in Dreams by Flyleaf
10.) Ukulele Anthem by Amanda Palmer
11.) All Those Friendly People by Funeral Suits
12.) Shining On by Big D and the Kid's Table
13.) Revolution by Flogging Molly
14.) Youth by Daughter
15.) Better Days by Goo Goo Dolls
16.) For the First Time by the Script
17.) Defying Gravity from Wicked
18.) Hero by Regina Spektor
19.) Luck You Got by the High Strung
20.) Your Ex-Lover Is Dead by Stars
21.) Black Ink Revenge by Automatic Loveletter
22.) Metal Heart by Cat Power
Friday, January 11, 2013
A Change of Heart
"i mean i'm always happy with life, but i just search for adventure or new experiences, or other ways to better myself"
-Trevor Teply
So, off of yesterday's topic, change needs to be made. But the real question is what change needs to be made? Better yet, what can you use to inspire these changes. Strap in, guys and gals, because I have some suggestions. Thank you to all of my friends who helped me with today's subject.
Here are some of the things that inspire change in my life:
1.) The movies Elizabethtown and Breakfast at Tiffany's.
2.) The perfect playlist.
3.) Fun experiences with good people. Maybe not always dear friends, but new friends.
4.) Sharing your money, time, or story with someone.
5.) Accepting someone who does the same.
6.) Photography is a huge one for me. It could be a sunset or some grungy-indie chick. Looking at other people and realizing what you covet is a huge process in change.
7.) Ok, this one is pretty obvious, but the website http://love.givesmehope.com/. I have seen grown men cry while reading these.
8.) Pain. Out of pain comes some of the most beautiful changes I have ever seen.
9.) ...not going to lie. I keep thinking of Doctor Who, Buffy, and shows like them. Don't diss. They all have fairly good messages about not giving up and making something beautiful out of the life you have.
10.) My past. Not wanting what I have had in my past (or wanting it, for that matter) is a huge driving force for myself in my life.
Other Suggestions:
1.) " hm...i think failure does the most to be honest" -Nathan Selinsky
2.) "It's based on what is making you unhappy... if I'm upset about work, I look
for other jobs. If I'm feeling like a fat piece of lard, I eat better and
try and make it to the gym... I usually like taking long walks or
having alone time to plot my next move or make life decisions though." -Chris Marez (@djsquirt)
3.) "a new goal. in my case, wanting something better for myself, like fighting, and being completely focused to attain that goal" -Alex "Brown Bear" Johnson
4.) "It's the drive. The drive comes from a "need". That need comes from the thought about "choices". If you really think about it, I left Colorado because my "need" was my boyfriend and my job and the fact that I've lived there for 20 years. I wrote down everything. For me, seeing it on paper hits me harder than my friends saying it, family telling me how things should be, and even myself saying it. When I wrote everything down, I wrote next to it what that change would effect and later look like.
So to grow and change, I work with the events that are presented to me rather than against them. Challenges and blessings are equally beneficial to a person's growth and development. And they are beneficial, no matter how happy-go-lucky out there or how dark they may be. As long as you move forward. Also, a series of positive events could be balanced by a series of negative events, there's no strict order. The balance is kept overall, if not always on a smaller scale. Dwelling in the past can upset the balance also."-Sarah Vogel
4.) "It's the drive. The drive comes from a "need". That need comes from the thought about "choices". If you really think about it, I left Colorado because my "need" was my boyfriend and my job and the fact that I've lived there for 20 years. I wrote down everything. For me, seeing it on paper hits me harder than my friends saying it, family telling me how things should be, and even myself saying it. When I wrote everything down, I wrote next to it what that change would effect and later look like.
So moving could end my
job, school and relationship with Adam. I talked with adam and he said
he wants to move here to be with me in 6 months. School is now all
online so I figured that out. Job, well.. without having to pay rent my
income didn't change.
Next.. my health. I have gained 40 pounds. It doesn't look like much to my family or friends but I feel horrible. I weigh as much as I did when I gave birth to my kids. Seriously!! I weigh 170. Soda is my addiction. My cousin noticed it after a few hours and each hour I had a bubbly drink in my hand. Adam hates that I drink so much soda. What's worse.. I started giving soda to my 2 year old son when he would want a drink and all I had left was my drink. It's not good to start him out that way.
So I wrote it down. "I weigh 170 pounds. this is what I weighed giving birth to a baby. This weight is controlling how I feel about myself. I will not drop any weight if I keep drinking soda and having ice cream every night".
Every morning.. I write it down somewhere. When I can't find a pen, I text it to myself. Every time I want a soda, I write down my weight and I write out why I weigh so much. Best time to make change is when the emotion is taken out of it.
I had to step back and ask myself if moving was an emotional move, or a logical one. I want my son to be surrounded around his family. I was completely taken away from everyone when I was little. All I had was my parents. I wasn't allowed to know these people.
When I was pregnant, the issue of abortion came up. That choice was exteremely hard for me. I kept telling myself that I couldn't do this. My parents already kidnapped one kid thinking I wasn't a fit mother. Next, I was without a job when I found out I was pregnant. That choice would change my life no matter what. If I had an abortion, every "due date" I had would haunt me.(I know myself) And if I didn't, I might need government assistance for the rest of my life. I'd rather make the choice I knew I could live with, so I named him Aiden.
Next, College. College was a huge step for me. I had parents who told me all the time I would fail and to just forget school since it wasn't that big of a deal. I met a woman who became my motherly figure in a time that I needed it most. She told me she would rent me a room and if I went to college, I'd only pay 200 a month. I was paying 900. This encouraged me like no other. Now, I'd never take it back.
There is so much that has driven me to make changes.. But in the end.. It's me. It's my life. And it's my choice. If I don't own my own life, how do I expect to get where I want to go?"-Amber Clark
5.) " 'The caterpillar cannot understand the butterfly'...The biggest thing that inspires me to change is to be unafraid of it, to welcome it, and to know that it's going to be good for me. I enjoy my mind evolving, I think a lot of people resist change because they're afraid of what they don't want happening, well you can't think about what you don't want. Staying positive through everything good or bad is the key to happiness." -Bri Rehberg
6.) "In my life I've realized challenges are there for me to grow as a person. It means nothing to fall down, but it matters how I get back up from a failed challenge. I feel it in my gut when I need to change something about myself and to me it's all about instinct and how I handle things in the moment.
Sunday night slam...Also having a cautiously positive mindset helps me get things done too " -Blake Scurto
Next.. my health. I have gained 40 pounds. It doesn't look like much to my family or friends but I feel horrible. I weigh as much as I did when I gave birth to my kids. Seriously!! I weigh 170. Soda is my addiction. My cousin noticed it after a few hours and each hour I had a bubbly drink in my hand. Adam hates that I drink so much soda. What's worse.. I started giving soda to my 2 year old son when he would want a drink and all I had left was my drink. It's not good to start him out that way.
So I wrote it down. "I weigh 170 pounds. this is what I weighed giving birth to a baby. This weight is controlling how I feel about myself. I will not drop any weight if I keep drinking soda and having ice cream every night".
Every morning.. I write it down somewhere. When I can't find a pen, I text it to myself. Every time I want a soda, I write down my weight and I write out why I weigh so much. Best time to make change is when the emotion is taken out of it.
I had to step back and ask myself if moving was an emotional move, or a logical one. I want my son to be surrounded around his family. I was completely taken away from everyone when I was little. All I had was my parents. I wasn't allowed to know these people.
When I was pregnant, the issue of abortion came up. That choice was exteremely hard for me. I kept telling myself that I couldn't do this. My parents already kidnapped one kid thinking I wasn't a fit mother. Next, I was without a job when I found out I was pregnant. That choice would change my life no matter what. If I had an abortion, every "due date" I had would haunt me.(I know myself) And if I didn't, I might need government assistance for the rest of my life. I'd rather make the choice I knew I could live with, so I named him Aiden.
Next, College. College was a huge step for me. I had parents who told me all the time I would fail and to just forget school since it wasn't that big of a deal. I met a woman who became my motherly figure in a time that I needed it most. She told me she would rent me a room and if I went to college, I'd only pay 200 a month. I was paying 900. This encouraged me like no other. Now, I'd never take it back.
There is so much that has driven me to make changes.. But in the end.. It's me. It's my life. And it's my choice. If I don't own my own life, how do I expect to get where I want to go?"-Amber Clark
5.) " 'The caterpillar cannot understand the butterfly'...The biggest thing that inspires me to change is to be unafraid of it, to welcome it, and to know that it's going to be good for me. I enjoy my mind evolving, I think a lot of people resist change because they're afraid of what they don't want happening, well you can't think about what you don't want. Staying positive through everything good or bad is the key to happiness." -Bri Rehberg
6.) "In my life I've realized challenges are there for me to grow as a person. It means nothing to fall down, but it matters how I get back up from a failed challenge. I feel it in my gut when I need to change something about myself and to me it's all about instinct and how I handle things in the moment.
Sunday night slam...Also having a cautiously positive mindset helps me get things done too " -Blake Scurto
7.) "Change! Haha. I just wanted to get this diagram up because I learned about this theory in English last year and I agree with it very much, I just added a bit to it. Anyway. So. Growth happens over time. Change and growth are connected, yes? Yes. In order to grow, a person must be separated from their normal life and brought out of their comfort zone, whether it's as simple as being forced to buy food by yourself for the first time or as drastic as a death in the family. Once separated by this event, the person then matures as they process what is happening and learn how to handle the situation. They then return to their normal life through the process of aggregation, integrating all that they have learned into the whole that is their person. My only change is that everything balances as well, and so for positive events there will also be negative events. This means you can learn a lot from good experiences, but you also learn a lot from negative experiences. The point is not to worry about which experience is currently happening, but rather to move forward. A person who does not continue through the series of growth spikes (the whole set is called a bildungsroman, a term used for a coming of age novel (Great Expectations!), and one spike is called a "slice of life," often the focus of short stories) will be stuck in a state of arrested development, which is why some adults act like twelve year-olds. It's also possible to go backwards, if the balance isn't kept. That's where you get nasty people and characters.
So to grow and change, I work with the events that are presented to me rather than against them. Challenges and blessings are equally beneficial to a person's growth and development. And they are beneficial, no matter how happy-go-lucky out there or how dark they may be. As long as you move forward. Also, a series of positive events could be balanced by a series of negative events, there's no strict order. The balance is kept overall, if not always on a smaller scale. Dwelling in the past can upset the balance also."-Sarah Vogel
Also See below (video provided by Casey Kline):
With Love,
Alaska
Thursday, January 10, 2013
On A Different Note: Happy 2013!
Hey Beautiful!
It's 2013 and it is one of my new years resolutions to kick ass with this blog. I'm in an angst ridden mood, but I think it's healthy enough to talk about on here.
I'm going to go against one of my rules for this blog and say something unusual, but here we go:
Fuck. Everyone. Else.
These three simple words seem to elude most people the majority of the time. Now, this may seem like an extremely misanthropic or even objectivist statement. Do not misunderstand me. I like most humans most of the time. However, there comes a place and a time in which the opinions of others need to mean nothing. Your life is purely your own. Subjecting yourself to the bullshitted views of those around you is your own choice and one that can seriously mess with your world.
Why? 1.) Because everyone on this earth is struggling for answers. 2.) Because what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another. And 3.) Because miracles do exist. They can happen to anyone and they can happen to you.
Seriously, don't even listen to me if you don't like what I have to say. But if you feel like a visitor in your own life, like you are struggling for air and, just as you reach the top, the whole damn world flips over to keep you under water, keep reading.
Quit your job. Dye your hair. Fall in or out of love. Get a new hobby. Relocate. But, above all, if you can't stand your life, change. You can't expect to do the same thing a million times over and make different results, right? So, if life is so awful that you want to leave it, then make a fucking change. If you're in college, change which college. If your boss is making you want to play that wack-your-boss game (which, I'll put a link for, but it's really the best game ever if you're upset), then QUIT YOUR FUCKING JOB.
I'm sorry, guys. I know I don't normally swear so much on this blog. It's just something that I had to get out there.
Anyway. This was a short but pointed one.
Until tomorrow,
Alaska
http://www.silvergames.com/whack-your-boss
It's 2013 and it is one of my new years resolutions to kick ass with this blog. I'm in an angst ridden mood, but I think it's healthy enough to talk about on here.
I'm going to go against one of my rules for this blog and say something unusual, but here we go:
Fuck. Everyone. Else.
These three simple words seem to elude most people the majority of the time. Now, this may seem like an extremely misanthropic or even objectivist statement. Do not misunderstand me. I like most humans most of the time. However, there comes a place and a time in which the opinions of others need to mean nothing. Your life is purely your own. Subjecting yourself to the bullshitted views of those around you is your own choice and one that can seriously mess with your world.
Why? 1.) Because everyone on this earth is struggling for answers. 2.) Because what works for one person doesn't necessarily work for another. And 3.) Because miracles do exist. They can happen to anyone and they can happen to you.
Seriously, don't even listen to me if you don't like what I have to say. But if you feel like a visitor in your own life, like you are struggling for air and, just as you reach the top, the whole damn world flips over to keep you under water, keep reading.
Quit your job. Dye your hair. Fall in or out of love. Get a new hobby. Relocate. But, above all, if you can't stand your life, change. You can't expect to do the same thing a million times over and make different results, right? So, if life is so awful that you want to leave it, then make a fucking change. If you're in college, change which college. If your boss is making you want to play that wack-your-boss game (which, I'll put a link for, but it's really the best game ever if you're upset), then QUIT YOUR FUCKING JOB.
I'm sorry, guys. I know I don't normally swear so much on this blog. It's just something that I had to get out there.
Anyway. This was a short but pointed one.
Until tomorrow,
Alaska
http://www.silvergames.com/whack-your-boss
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
My Mother's Daughter
You, I've mistaken for destiny, but the truth is my legacy is not up to my genes.
True, though the imprint is deep in me, it will always be up to me
-Repo! The Genetic Opera
It's times like these I wonder if I'm like my mother. Now seems a good time to let everyone know this: you have a chance to change your stars. Just because your parents are a certain way doesn't mean you have to be.
I was with my family over Thanksgiving and let me tell you...it isn't easy. I almost felt like it was a mirror into my future. But sitting here, I realize that I have the choice to decide who I am in 20 years. Just because my family is a certain way doesn't mean that is what I will turn into. If anything, it could be a warning sign.
I am happier now than I have ever been though. I am lucky to have been blessed with so many people who care about me. The most to be taken away from today's topic is that you can have the same attributes as your family without being exactly like them. For example, I am very charismatic (like my mother) but I am not a drunk just because I have some of the same attributes as her.
It's a fine line, to be a child coming into the understanding of your own being. As a young person, you not only have the expectations of your family and the world on your shoulders, but also the expectations you create for yourself. In this, it is really difficult to remember the last one. However, part of growing up is learning how to value your own expectations. In college, it seems like everyone has been telling me that, yes, my opinion is valued. Now, I have a blog that people read, so I feel like my opinion is at least slightly valued. Still, I see many of my 18 year old friends going to college and choosing a major that either society or their family wants for them. While it's great that these people care about the future, these freshman really have to figure out what they want for the rest of their lives.
Guys, let me tell you something. Every single one of you have the potential to change the world. None of us are more or less important. Past generations have been so focused on, well, the past that they raised themselves to only be so-so. They thought that was all they were capable of. But we are not our parents. We are not the past. We are the future. I see more compassion now than ever.
However, it is important to remember that our parents are just human. You know that feeling you get when you're really scared or really sad? They get that too. The great thing is that they are human, with so much love to give and so much to offer the world.
I guess the main point of my rambling blog post today is that (1) parents/family are human, (2) you don't have to be like them, and (3) you don't have to listen to everything they say. You're an adult (I hope most of you reading this are), use your own best judgement as your guide. Parents are sometimes wise, but not the end-all-be-all of sage advise.
True, though the imprint is deep in me, it will always be up to me
-Repo! The Genetic Opera
It's times like these I wonder if I'm like my mother. Now seems a good time to let everyone know this: you have a chance to change your stars. Just because your parents are a certain way doesn't mean you have to be.
I was with my family over Thanksgiving and let me tell you...it isn't easy. I almost felt like it was a mirror into my future. But sitting here, I realize that I have the choice to decide who I am in 20 years. Just because my family is a certain way doesn't mean that is what I will turn into. If anything, it could be a warning sign.
I am happier now than I have ever been though. I am lucky to have been blessed with so many people who care about me. The most to be taken away from today's topic is that you can have the same attributes as your family without being exactly like them. For example, I am very charismatic (like my mother) but I am not a drunk just because I have some of the same attributes as her.
It's a fine line, to be a child coming into the understanding of your own being. As a young person, you not only have the expectations of your family and the world on your shoulders, but also the expectations you create for yourself. In this, it is really difficult to remember the last one. However, part of growing up is learning how to value your own expectations. In college, it seems like everyone has been telling me that, yes, my opinion is valued. Now, I have a blog that people read, so I feel like my opinion is at least slightly valued. Still, I see many of my 18 year old friends going to college and choosing a major that either society or their family wants for them. While it's great that these people care about the future, these freshman really have to figure out what they want for the rest of their lives.
Guys, let me tell you something. Every single one of you have the potential to change the world. None of us are more or less important. Past generations have been so focused on, well, the past that they raised themselves to only be so-so. They thought that was all they were capable of. But we are not our parents. We are not the past. We are the future. I see more compassion now than ever.
However, it is important to remember that our parents are just human. You know that feeling you get when you're really scared or really sad? They get that too. The great thing is that they are human, with so much love to give and so much to offer the world.
I guess the main point of my rambling blog post today is that (1) parents/family are human, (2) you don't have to be like them, and (3) you don't have to listen to everything they say. You're an adult (I hope most of you reading this are), use your own best judgement as your guide. Parents are sometimes wise, but not the end-all-be-all of sage advise.
Monday, December 3, 2012
Enjoying Your Mistakes
“Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new.”
-Albert Einstein
Hey Kiddos!
Two years ago today, I made a mistake. I ended up dating Joe Schmoe and, well, most of you should know the rest. I won't lie to my avid readers, it was really difficult. I watched lots of Buffy the Vampire Slayer to try and fill the emptiness in my life. For a while, this blog and good TV shows were just about all I had (aside from a surprisingly well-paying call center job). But, guys, I have something really cool to tell you about heartbreak. What I didn't realize at the beginning of the Summer was how beautiful my life would become. All of this started with a heartbreak.
People, in my own opinion, take for granted the fact that our mistakes set us on a path. For example, two years ago, I had no plans of going to college. I burned my name as Mrs. Potts (or, as some people called me, a door mat). I was incomplete and wanted to fulfill that by dating...let's face it...the biggest douche bag in Colorado. It was a temporary fix to combat loneliness. Something that my readers don't know is that, before Joe, I had a "one that got away". He couldn't decide if he wanted to be with me or not, so I set the past on fire and decided to be with someone new. Why I tell this to you is because it's very important to remember that everything, even heartbreak, has an expiration date.
So, yes, I made a mistake. I dated the wrong guy. I'm so glad I did. Had it not been for Joe, I would have never applied for college. My application to college was a spur-of-the-moment decision brought on by Joe moving out. I decided that I needed a bigger change than my hair color. And, as I'm sure I have stated a few times before, I got accepted the day after I found out that he was cheating on me. This is the most obvious way that my mistake changed my life for the better, but there are more. Because of that relationship, I learned the value of loyalty and arguing in a way that is still loving.
Right now, in this moment, life is beautiful. I just had lunch with my boyfriend, who adores me more than anything. I'm sitting on my college campus, typing this post and listening to Laura Marling (one of my idols). I am surrounded by people who think I'm just great. Getting to this point was not at all easy. I've been through so much and I've had people tell me that I have the sadness of a thousand years on my shoulders, but every mistake and misfortune are fantastic because it got me to this very moment of clarity and bliss.
Sometimes, I am so terrified that I will make the same mistakes in my current relationship as in my past. But today, I see that I am learning from my mistakes and know not to make those again.The mistakes I have yet to make are mistakes I have never made before. And I cannot wait to make those mistakes to learn more and see who I will become.
Until Next Time,
Alaska
-Albert Einstein
Hey Kiddos!
Two years ago today, I made a mistake. I ended up dating Joe Schmoe and, well, most of you should know the rest. I won't lie to my avid readers, it was really difficult. I watched lots of Buffy the Vampire Slayer to try and fill the emptiness in my life. For a while, this blog and good TV shows were just about all I had (aside from a surprisingly well-paying call center job). But, guys, I have something really cool to tell you about heartbreak. What I didn't realize at the beginning of the Summer was how beautiful my life would become. All of this started with a heartbreak.
People, in my own opinion, take for granted the fact that our mistakes set us on a path. For example, two years ago, I had no plans of going to college. I burned my name as Mrs. Potts (or, as some people called me, a door mat). I was incomplete and wanted to fulfill that by dating...let's face it...the biggest douche bag in Colorado. It was a temporary fix to combat loneliness. Something that my readers don't know is that, before Joe, I had a "one that got away". He couldn't decide if he wanted to be with me or not, so I set the past on fire and decided to be with someone new. Why I tell this to you is because it's very important to remember that everything, even heartbreak, has an expiration date.
So, yes, I made a mistake. I dated the wrong guy. I'm so glad I did. Had it not been for Joe, I would have never applied for college. My application to college was a spur-of-the-moment decision brought on by Joe moving out. I decided that I needed a bigger change than my hair color. And, as I'm sure I have stated a few times before, I got accepted the day after I found out that he was cheating on me. This is the most obvious way that my mistake changed my life for the better, but there are more. Because of that relationship, I learned the value of loyalty and arguing in a way that is still loving.
Right now, in this moment, life is beautiful. I just had lunch with my boyfriend, who adores me more than anything. I'm sitting on my college campus, typing this post and listening to Laura Marling (one of my idols). I am surrounded by people who think I'm just great. Getting to this point was not at all easy. I've been through so much and I've had people tell me that I have the sadness of a thousand years on my shoulders, but every mistake and misfortune are fantastic because it got me to this very moment of clarity and bliss.
Sometimes, I am so terrified that I will make the same mistakes in my current relationship as in my past. But today, I see that I am learning from my mistakes and know not to make those again.The mistakes I have yet to make are mistakes I have never made before. And I cannot wait to make those mistakes to learn more and see who I will become.
Until Next Time,
Alaska
Monday, November 12, 2012
The Pleasing Game
"All compromise is based on give and take, but there can be no give and take on fundamentals. Any compromise on mere fundamentals is a surrender. For it is all give and no take."
-Mahatma Gandhi
Compromise is a really good thing. It's how we explore, it's how we grow. However, sometimes compromising too much of yourself can be extreamly detrimental to your self-worth.
For example, I have a friend who loves her boyfriend so much. Her boyfriend loves her, but she consistantly feels like she has to be perfect for him. As a result, she has been entertaining the idea of anorexia and her perspective of self is way off. She wakes up every morning feeling a little bit worse about herself than the day before. It isn't her boyfriend's fault. If anything, he spends most of his time trying to convince her she is fantastic. Still, she fears his family and friends don't like her.
So, how do we fix this situation? First, she needs to get over the idea that she has to please everybody. It is impossible to please everyone. What is imperative about this situation is that she remembers who she is and stays true to that. Not everyone will like her for being who she is, but at least she knows that the people who do like her really do like her. Secondly, she has to be outgoing. She doesn't have to please everyone, but she has to be cordial at least. I have advised her to not get too deep into anyone else's business. Still, being a good person and lending an ear doesn't normally lead to bad things. The more people she has on her side in her boyfriend's life, the more people who are likely to vouch for her.
Willingness to compromise, in itself, is a good skill to have. This is not a win/lose situation. It's more so a way to work it out so that everyone wins. If you don't want to watch a movie, but your friend does, agree to a movie but ask if you can pick which movie to watch. Or you could also just agree that next time, you get to choose what to do.
On a side note, I am so very sorry that I have not been posting as often as I was durring summer. I have had to contend with some very stressful issues. I shall be writing more from now on.
Love Always,
Alaska
-Mahatma Gandhi
Compromise is a really good thing. It's how we explore, it's how we grow. However, sometimes compromising too much of yourself can be extreamly detrimental to your self-worth.
For example, I have a friend who loves her boyfriend so much. Her boyfriend loves her, but she consistantly feels like she has to be perfect for him. As a result, she has been entertaining the idea of anorexia and her perspective of self is way off. She wakes up every morning feeling a little bit worse about herself than the day before. It isn't her boyfriend's fault. If anything, he spends most of his time trying to convince her she is fantastic. Still, she fears his family and friends don't like her.
So, how do we fix this situation? First, she needs to get over the idea that she has to please everybody. It is impossible to please everyone. What is imperative about this situation is that she remembers who she is and stays true to that. Not everyone will like her for being who she is, but at least she knows that the people who do like her really do like her. Secondly, she has to be outgoing. She doesn't have to please everyone, but she has to be cordial at least. I have advised her to not get too deep into anyone else's business. Still, being a good person and lending an ear doesn't normally lead to bad things. The more people she has on her side in her boyfriend's life, the more people who are likely to vouch for her.
Willingness to compromise, in itself, is a good skill to have. This is not a win/lose situation. It's more so a way to work it out so that everyone wins. If you don't want to watch a movie, but your friend does, agree to a movie but ask if you can pick which movie to watch. Or you could also just agree that next time, you get to choose what to do.
On a side note, I am so very sorry that I have not been posting as often as I was durring summer. I have had to contend with some very stressful issues. I shall be writing more from now on.
Love Always,
Alaska
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)